Here is the biggest thing I know. I care... Possibly more than other people I know. Some times I am selfish, sometimes I am withdrawn. But honestly if you are having a crisis I am there. I have a habit in my life of sharing forthright what I think and what I believe. People consider this to be rude, unthoughtful, uncaring, unconcerned, unhelpful, abrasive, and down right in their business.
Now lets get to the title matter:
Love: this is usually described worldly by sex and the whole, "oh my goodness he's so hot." Do, you think he likes me.... OK lets stop. What is Love?
Biblically which is the only way to describe it, because it was created first by God and is God can only be characterized by actions, ya know do things, because he/she wants too... what does the person do to show that they love me?
For me they cook, do the dishes, help with things, go out to the store with me, fold socks (thanks Mom). (This may be considered acts of Service) tells me how much they love me using past expressions of their love on paper. (Some call this words of affirmation) My personal favorite is when they don't have any time to spend with me they take time, sacrificing what they are doing: grades, homework, cleaning, art, etc, and then turning it into something the person wants to do, that maybe they don't want to do. Giving random gifts and or touch.
People ask me for advice I give it, I give my time, my money and my life for some people. I respond to things that people do as if they were my child. Maybe that is wrong to do, maybe it is wrong to care that deeply for people. But to watch them throw it all away, for what one potential relationship, one thing: to feel whole, to feel happiness for a blip of a moment, to crave intimacy where there is none. OR when people think I don't care, because I like to watch them be tortured by something: a movie, a forgetful move.... Yes, my desire is to torture you! I want to destroy your every being.
OF COURSE NOT! My desire is to enjoy my time with my friends. God designed humans to be intimate with. Intimacy is not sex, it is to know people inside and out. He wanted that relationship with us as humans. Doesn't mean just complaining to him, or telling him what your freaked out about. It is about sharing the good, the bad, the ugly and even the most amazing high points in our life. How he showed us his love is by giving his child. How many of us can honestly say, "Oh! Here take my kid" (NO not the goat an actual child) Well God did, just for a relationship with us.
That is love, doing everything in your power to secure a relationship with anybody, in a deep non - sexually intimate way.
Truth Hurts:
This saying was said to me as a 6th grader when I was told that no one like me any more. I wore my heart on my sleeve then and I think I started tearing up. Some one came up to me and said, "some one told you the truth, hu?"
As a child I was like what why would truth hurt me? Well, constructive criticism is truth, and it hurts a good portion of the time, but the reason why it exists is so that we can learn to be a better person. (No the dialog above wasn't constructive.) I have the ability to provide criticism in a way that could be construed as hurtful and abrasive, and believe me I've gotten better since jr high/High School.
I have no problem in keeping people accountable if they ask, but if they ask they better be prepared for truth that comes out of my mouth. They need to understand that it is business what they say and I'll be with them every step of the way.
They ask advice I give it after thinking about it, or I wait to respond when I can so I can clearly think of something that could be useful from my heart.
There is a difference from asking advice and wanting sympathy. There is only so much of repetition that can be heard of before it gets to the point where I'm like I cant help you if you cannot do things, but you will have to figure out how to do this on your own. I am not a licensed counselor...
There is a reason why I stepped down from psychology and treatment facilities. It's too broken for a person with a sensitive soul. It kills them. It kills them emotionally, physically and mentally. This is where I was one-two years ago. This is why I am not a counselor, so I do not have to hear continuous, repeated scenarios that when asked advice and given are dismissed, so that the same mayhem continues.
If people don't take advice because it bothers them, or they wanted sympathy instead, it would be helpful for them to clearly state what they need at the time. There comes a time though that I will stop letting a dog lick its wound and actually help it heal. (if I was talking about a dog I would, but humans you cant force to do anything) Another words, if a person is causing themselves pain situationally, emotionally, physically, or what other way they can it needs to stop.
This truth hurts so much sometimes that people ignore it or even say please pitty me.
Untreated Depression Gets Worse! Examples: you are looking for attention, and you don't get enough of it, or you want love, or have loneliness, or you have destructive thoughts, there's hope! People have degrees to help with your self esteem, loneliness, heartbrokenness, emptiness and ultimately depression and the worry that comes along with all of these. I honestly wish my personality was one to have what it takes to be a counselor, but it doesn't.
My personality is of mentorship. I will lead and guide preferably one on one. My relationship will not be abused, emotionally, physically, mentally or spiritually. If you need truth I'll say it if you need guidance I'll pray for it to be given to you and I. My friends do not own my spirit, God does, by goodness, and HE is greater than any living soul in existence. I am his! Not Yours! You will not treat me like a relationship to abuse and manipulate, because I care!
